this morning #1614.
this morning, after another sleepless night, i was up way too early. before sis. before mom. last night, when mom returned from work, she went into mom mode, insisting on healing me back to health. i assured her that i was feeling much better. the truth? i was doing way worse. as soon as i’d decided to tell her about what our cousins had done to us, my stomach started filling with bile from my anxiety. now i was pacing. SO cliche. as soon as she awakes & has her first cup of coffee in hand, i’m going to tell her. i assume that she’ll wake up soon. until then, i need to step outside & get some fresh air. i stole a smoke from her purse & went out to the back patio. felt a nicotine calm spread through my body. listened to the birds.