this morning #1599.
this morning, after the guys made me feel like i was all alone in how i was in having to handle the resurfacing of my trauma, i decided to pretend i was sick. slickly convinced mom to let me stay home for the day. once she went to work & sis was off to school, i had the whole house to myself. brought the box of photo albums up from the basement & posted up on the couch. started with the oldest one, an album with the color drained from the cover. held together by duct tape. photos from before dad left. before sis was even born. before that summer with our cousins. spent the first few hours of the day flipping through, expecting an explanation to emerge. hoping for a divine sign. try as i might, i never did find one.