this morning #1563.
this morning, i definitely felt lighter. not gonna lie. wasn’t expecting that to happen so quickly. despite all my initial misgivings about the point of my pal’s whole “literally bury our pasts” plan, when i put my brother’s football jersey into the ground & left it behind out there in the woods, something clicked. it was as if i’d finally turned the stupid looping movie off. never again would i have to look at his jersey & be reminded of the thing that always defined him. the thing that defined him up until the details of his death hijacked the narrative, that is. i’m not naive. i know i won’t be able to avoid his memory all together. wouldn’t want to, really. still, if i can shift my focus to a less stressful image of him, that’ll make things way easier.